The Great Fever Saga (Spring 2012 edition)

My daughter has a cold.

OK, a bad one. She went to see the doctor on Friday to get her sling off (she fell off the couch a few weeks ago and broke her collar bone...aren't four-year-olds fun?), and she had a slight fever. The doc said her ears looked a little red, and if the fever lasted until Monday she should come in and get checked out for an ear infection.

The weekend went by, and by Monday morning she was bright and chipper. So, off she went to daycare like a little trooper with a snotty nose.

Then BAM! The phone call came just before 4:00. She had woken up from nap time with a fever of 102. So, off I went to save her (and subsequently found out that earlier in the day she had face planted and got a bloody nose...unrelated incident, but the broken collar bone had apparently reduced her willingness to use her hands to break her fall. I'm guessing she's learned that using your face is not a viable alternative).

I gave her a shot of Tylenol and kept an eye on her, but by 7:00 she was up to 103.8. That's...kinda high. So, following doctor's orders, we went to the hospital (since the actual doctor's office was now closed), thinking there might be some hidden infection.

By the time we got there the fever was easing slightly from some extra Advil. The nurse was kind enough to keep an eye on her in the waiting room, but by the end of about three hours the only real recommendation seemed to be increasing her doses of both Tylenol and Advil to aggressively keep the fever under control. So, having already committed to $8.00 in parking, I decided to use their Advil before going home and putting her to bed. The instructions: if it comes back up tomorrow, go straight to the walk-in clinic or her doctor's office.

I spent the night up every couple of hours administering medicine. By morning, her fever had clearly broken. Her temperature was down to 94.3, which is pretty typical for a fever break. She was a little dopey for the first part of the day, but I kept her at home just the same.

Good thing. Mid-afternoon, she crashed on the couch and woke up with...you guessed it...a temperature pushing 102 again. This time she was in hysterics, totally unsure what to do with herself. She had no idea what she wanted or didn't want. And it was getting worse. So, since it was pushing 4:00 again, I decided the walk-in would be a more likely bet than the doctor's office.

No dice. The walk-in was also closed. Taking all this into consideration, I elected to go back to the hospital.

The wait time in triage wasn't all that bad, but the nurse wanted a urine sample to see if maybe there was a bladder infection (she apparently neglected to put the coughing and runny nose on the report). Thing is, four-year-olds don't like to pee on command. And they really don't like to do it into a cup. She faked me out once ("Daddy I have to pee..." try...try...try... "I don't have to pee." Gah!), but about two hours into our residency she managed to produce a good sample.

This went into the nurse's urine sample collection box (who knew...there's an interesting niche market design concept, eh?), and we sat back to wait for a doctor. Of course, by this point her fever had all but disappeared from the first round of medicine I gave her, but she entertained herself with some colouring and a dose of Treehouse on the lobby TV.

An hour and a half later I walked by the triage nurse's desk and saw that the sample still had not been picked up. Of course I barked about this. I understand busy, and I get that a kid with no current signs of a dangerous fever will get bumped down the list behind the kid with the broken arm and the two or three helicopters that had come in during our stay. But come on...you can pick up the damn sample and at least get that underway!

Finally we got called in, and we didn't have to wait long to see an actual doctor. Unfortunately, he was clearly overworked and already pissy about having to tend to every snotty nose in the county. When he found out that my daughter had a cough and congestion, he closed his chart and said, "Oh, well that's obvious then. She has a cold. And kids with colds get fevers. We only do urine tests if it's not obviously upper respiratory."

Uh huh. So...the fact that her fever has lasted five days isn't alarming?

"Nope. She doesn't even look sick. They don't worry about infection unless it goes on for two or three weeks."

Uh huh. So...I'm just following her doctor's orders and bringing her in when it doesn't go down.

"Yeah. Parents tend to overreact with fevers. Just take her home, put her to bed, keep giving her medicine to keep it under control. OK, you can go now."

Wow...did I feel like an asshole for wasting that guy's precious time. I suspect the string of professionals before him didn't give any consideration to how much of my precious time I spent sitting around the waiting room at the hospital on their advice.

A lot of people have said I did the right thing, going to the hospital and having her checked out just in case. But from my perspective, I would really like it if doctors and nurses all got together and read the same guide books in terms of what to do in a situation like this. Several layers of conflicting advice does not make for a smooth treatment process for the young patient and the patient's impatient father.

They're right, of course. It's worth going just to be sure. But I probably should have trusted my gut instinct and said to myself, "self, you know this is a fever, and you know it's from the cold. And you know that in a few days if you just keep it down with Tylenol and Advil she'll be fine."

I took her to daycare again today. No fever for the first half of the day, and no phone call yet. We may be past the worst of it; it may come back after nap time. Either way, at least I know what to do with it if they do call.

And I got a nap this morning to catch up.

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Father Forgets

I just heard this piece for the first time in an audio version of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you're not inspired to review your own parenting from time to time, read every word -- EVERY WORD -- of this classic monologue. You will be inspired, believe me.

FATHER FORGETS
W. Livingston Larned
as condensed in “Readers Digest”

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little
paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily
wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone.
Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the
library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily
I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross
to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because
you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to
task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when
you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You
gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You
spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off
to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand
and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in
reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came
up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles.
There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before
your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house.
Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would
be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how
you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?
When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption,
you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,
and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your
small arms tightened with an affection that God had set
blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither.
And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped
from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What
has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of
reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It
was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too
much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own
years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your
character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn
itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous
impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters
tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and
I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these
things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But
tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer
when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my
tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it
were a ritual: “He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you
now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are
still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your
head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

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Early to Rise -- The New Protocol for Productivity

I've never been a morning person.

That changed by default, of course, when my daughter was born. We have a sort of rule in the house though: no getting up before 6 a.m.. Usually she's pretty good at sticking to this one, although she's still too young to tell time. When she's early, I send her back to bed, even if it's just for five minutes.

I don't know...maybe that's just for my own narcissistic need to feel like I'm in control of my time. It almost never works anyway.

Lately though, I've been reading up on productivity and following blogs by CEOs and other power players. I went through Eben Pagan's "Wake Up Productive" video course, and found a lot of what he had to say enlightening. But, to do all the stuff you're supposed to do in the morning for your "ritual," you have to get up pretty early.

Having just read a fascinating article by Peter Shankman on the subject, I'm starting to become convinced that early rising may have more to it than simply getting stuff done. I'm starting to realize that while I've forced myself out of normal sleep patterns over the years, only to be forced back into something similar through parenting, my daughter may be purely circadian. She may just be waking up when it's time to wake up.

Yes, even if it's 5 a.m..

My joke used to be, "I know there's a five o'clock really late at night; I had no idea there was one in the morning now too!"

That attitude is about to change. As I'm busily looking for a new job, the likelihood is increasing that I may need to commute into Toronto, putting downtown roughly an hour and a half away by various trains. I could drive it in an hour if there were no traffic, but we know what that's like getting into Toronto in the morning. Could be up to four hours if you hit it just right.

So how do I get in the morning ritual, exercise, and everything else in time to drive to Cobourg to drop my kid off at daycare, drive to Whitby, find a parking space, and hop the GO Train?

Yup. 5 a.m..

As an experiment is this early rising psychosis, I'm going to start nudging myself in that direction next week. Of course I'll have to start going to bed earlier; as it is, I usually don't go to bed until around 11:00. If I go at 10:00, I will wake up at 3 a.m. and be unable to go back to sleep.

What can I say? She's trained me to function on five to six hours of sleep, usually with a nap after lunch.

So we start by getting up right away. The idea is that if I'm tired enough, I should (in theory) be able to get to sleep earlier that night. In my experience, it takes less than a week to retrain a new schedule; but I promise myself I won't go to bed any earlier than 10:00 just on principle.

They say adding the extra hours in the morning makes you more productive. I still maintain that it doesn't matter if the extra hours happen early or late. But necessity may very well force me in the direction of early, so it's best to be prepared.

And if it doesn't happen that I need the commute, at least I'll get to watch a few sunrises on the deck...before going back to bed.

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Summer Colds Suck

If you've been following on Twitter (@stevebaric1), you're probably already aware that I owe Paul a Chinese dinner.

Yes, I missed a workout. Actually, I've missed several; but not without good reason.

Last week when my parents were down, I ended up busier than I expected to be. That's not much of an excuse, mind you, but it turns into one when you have less than a week to tackle projects, keep guests entertained, watch your toddler (who you've taken out of daycare so she can visit her grandparents) and spend some time with your girlfriend...all while your air conditioner is completely broken down during one of the worst heat waves on record.

Add to that the fact that I do my TACFIT workouts at home instead of a nice air conditioned gym, and you can see a picture emerging. Plus, the Man Cave isn't finished, so I ended up sleeping on a love seat in the living room.

Add sleep deprivation to the whine list.

I know, I know. If I was really a tactical operative I would still have to train under harsh conditions. I suppose I could have gotten up at 5 a.m. and done the work outside.

Um. No.

So then (oh, it gets better), both my girlfriend and I wake up Friday morning with sore throats. By Saturday we both have something like a cold; her's knocks her flat, while mine is just starting to move into congestion as I write this.

Too bad. The problem with getting sick at the same time is you can't blame the other person for making you sick. Where's the fun in that?

Anyway, the a/c was fixed on Friday, so that's a plus. But as I explained to Paul, it's not easy to do a hypermetabolic workout when the indoor temperature is 92°, the relative humidity is 88%, and your head and chest are so full of goo that you get winded scratching yourself in bed.

Solution: write off Mission 2 and start it over again on Monday. That will give me time to recover my lungs, get the basement finished, and refocus my efforts on my long-term goals.

Assuming, of course, we don't suffer another major disaster in the meantime. Excuse me...I need to find some wood to knock. And down another Advil Cold & Sinus.

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Popular Backyard Activities for Toddlers

It has been said that the early years of a child’s life is important to developing lifelong skills.  If you are the parent of a toddler, this means that you will want to instill good habits in them early on. One of those good habits may involve love for the outdoors. While playing outdoors is fun, it is also great way to stay healthy and fit.  That is why you may want to start encouraging your child to play outdoors. To increase their appreciation for the outdoors, you may want to familiarize yourself with some popular backyard activities, especially those that are designed with toddlers in mind.

When it comes to backyard activities for toddlers you will find that you have an unlimited number of options. The wide range of options is mostly due to their age. Unlike adults or older children toddlers are pretty easy to please. This means that whatever backyard activity you organize for your toddler, it will likely be something that they enjoy. However, it is important to remember that toddlers are just like everyone else: after a while they may get bored with the same activities. To prevent this from happening, you will want to think about a wider range of different backyard activities.

One backyard activity that most toddlers enjoy is playing on a swing set. Swing sets come in all different sizes and styles.  Most swing sets not only have a swing, but slides, monkey bars, and more.  If you do not own a swing set, you may seriously want to think about purchasing one. Depending on your budget, you can purchase an expensive, elaborate swing set, or a plain one for low price. What is nice about most swing sets is that they are able to accommodate children of all ages.  This means that as your toddler grows, they should still be able to enjoy their swing set.

Swimming is another popular backyard activity that many toddlers enjoy.  What is nice about swimming is that you do not have to have a full size pool. In fact, kiddie pools are a safe way for toddlers to swim. Kiddie pools are ideal for toddlers because they usually have less than two feet of water in them. As with in-ground and above-ground pools, there are also pool accessories that are available for kiddie pools. These accessories include swim rings, beach balls, and small floating toys.

Another popular backyard activity is playing in the sand.  Sandboxes are not only fun, but they may help your child develop other skills such as cause and effect. If you do not have a sandbox, you can easily purchase one (or build one, like THIS great plan...one I plan on implementing next spring). Like swing sets, sandboxes come in a wide variety of different sizes and styles. If you are looking for a small sandbox, you should be able to find one at your local department store. Many plastic sandboxes sell for around thirty dollars. Sandbox toys can also be purchased from most retail stores, often for a low price. And don't forget to check out the dollar store for plastic toy sets under $5.00.

Swimming, swinging, and playing in the sand are all fun backyard activities that you and your toddler can enjoy together. While your toddler may have fun playing with you, you may also want to give them the opportunity to play with other children. By contacting the parents of a child the same age as yours you could give your toddler a buddy to play with. In addition to being fun, play dates are also a great way to further develop your child’s social skills.

If you are looking for additional backyard activities or supplies, you may be able to find what you need online or at one of your local retail stores. For an affordable price, you should be able to find bubbles, water balloons, kites, balls, and t-ball equipment. These items may help to create a fun, but memorable backyard experience for your toddler.

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Summer Project #2 -- Real Men Build Fairy Gardens

I have a three-year-old who's into Tinker Bell. Like, in a BIG way.

Well, truthfully not as much as she was a year ago. But that doesn't mean she's not into fairies. Her favourite blanket (right now) is a quilt featuring fabric prints of the The Flower Fairies of Cecily Mary Barker. And her absolute favourite movie (which she got from the Easter Bunny) is Sesame Street: Abby in Wonderland.

So with springtime in full swing, it's time for Daddy to suck it up and do something special for his little girl. And what better springtime surprise than a fairy garden?

The original concept for this was much bigger, but after digging that hole for the square-foot garden and realizing how dense the root bed is in that sod, and how hefty the clay underneath it is, I elected to forgo renting the Bobcat for this season and try a little micro version of the idea, using the little garden bed at the front corner of the house.

The first thing was to prep the bed, and make sure that the soil was actually workable. So far, it looks OK. Not too heavy, and while a little on the dry side, we can probably pep it up with some Miracle Grow later on. Maybe next season I'll try to fix the soil with something healthy, but for now it's just a play garden anyway.

(Yeah, I'll admit I had fun with it...)

Next stop was the dollar store to find some fairy-ish stuff to put in the garden. As luck would have it, they had a little mushroom house, and a polyresin shoe with a drainage hole in the bottom. Can't get much more Mother Goose than that (for a buck fifty each!). I also found some solar garden lights there for $2.00 each...when in doubt, buy a few and see if they work! Can't beat that price.

Then it was off to the garden shop to pick up some flowers. I already had marigolds for the other garden, so those were easy. I also had a couple of (as yet) unidentified perennials and some day lilies I dug up from the back yard (why buy when you can dig?). So really I just needed some fairy-sized flowers to act as a ground cover.

I was lucky to find some pint-sized pink alyssum, a couple of yarrow, and a great campanula. These campanula are actually my favourites, because unlike other bell flowers these ones have double blooms that look strikingly like tiny blue roses!

In the end, all I needed to complete the look of a little fairy farm was a broken flower pot and last year's Christmas tree. No really...that's the lumber you see in the pictures. From there, it was just a matter of doing some arranging and creating a little setting. With luck, those little plants will spread and create a nice carpet, and the bigger plants will turn into something like a forest. I didn't have the lights in the ground when these pictures were taken, but they just rim the edge of the garden.

 All the response I needed was when my daughter came over (her mom and I have joint custody), and that little girl gasped and started petting the flowers. And said "good night" to the fairies in the house before we went in.

As a matter of fact, whenever we come home from anywhere, or on our way out to anywhere, she spends about five minutes sitting there talking to the fairies. Here's the bed a little more filled in after almost two weeks:

Any other ideas or pics of your fairy garden ideas? I'd love to hear about them.

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