Funny Crap My Kid Says

I have a four-year-old daughter. If I could draw, she (especially in combination with my cat) would be my comic strip. The things that come out of most kids' mouths are usually pretty priceless. But when her cherubic little countenance spouts these things, there's just no way to stop from laughing.

...or cringing.

[after taking a chunk out of her toe on a concrete step]
"Shhhhhh! Aahhhhhh...Good lord!...Hey look, Daddy: I can see the inside of my foot!"
 >.<

 Her: Are you going to play with the choir now?
Me: No sweetie, the choir isn’t here today.
Her: Oh...so you’re playing with yourself.
>.< 

Her: Who are you talking to?
Me: Nanny.
Her: What nanny?
Me: Your nanny.
Her: I’m not a nanny!
>.<

"Daddy, make sure there are no flies in here. I don’t want them to sping me. Especially bees and wops."
>.<

Her: Excuse me...How old are you?
Waitress: Um...I’m 22. How old are you?
Her: I’m four. What’s your number?
Waitress: [casts a sideways glance at le dad, who is trying to hide under the table] 
>.<

Store employee: Hi! What’s your name?
Her: I’m Mila. What’s yours?
Store employee: I’m Dana.
Her: Well Dana, it’s very nice to meet you [handshake].
Dana: [lol] How old are you?
Her: I’m four. How old are you?
Dana: Oh...too old sometimes.
Her: Are you as old as like my daddy?
Dana: I don’t know...maybe.
Her: Wow! You must be a pro!
>.<

Her: So, um, Daddy...
Me: Yes?
Her: Did we do a Barney break? [that's after watching the same DVD 5 times in a row] 
Me: Yep.
Her: Sooo...we had a Barney break then.
Me: Yep.
Her: So, I guess that means we can watch it now, huh?
>.<